Tuesday 31 July 2012

Am I OK?

Okay so i'm back. Hmmmm where to begin? Oh yes... i think i'm crazy.
 I have this image in my head that somehow or rather, my boyfriend's gonna BREAK UP  with me for no apparent reason. I do not know why. Weird.

But HONESTLY, i really am scared. I'm so afraid, so lost, so caught up that if he ever did break up with ME, i won't be ABLE to LIVE with myself. Sometimes i wonder if i'm OVER protective. But i don't mind that he talks to other girls, that he flirts, that he doesn't ACCOMPANY me to the bus stop. I don't mind all that. What i mind, is me MISSING him too much. Its like, i CAN'T be apart from HIM.

He's might not be the one but for now i think he is. I really REALLY don't want him to GO. It'll be sad. Call me crazy but that's the truth. He picks his MAPLE game over me, he doesn't accompany me home, he has not gotten me anything... yet, we DON't meet up during our break time or anything but somehow, I just FEEL so HAPPY with him around. Sure, he's not my perfect boyfriend but his my FAVOURITE boyfriend. And even now, i MISS him. He just gives me this SECURITY that i never get from my other boyfriends. And sometimes, he just has these MOMENTS that are damn EPIC that makes me like him even more.... He's just great. Really great. My kind of HAPPINESS.

Sunday 22 July 2012

HappyGirl97 on Cloud9

Hello! So, this is going to be part 1 of a story i want to share with EVERYONE. Ok, maybe not everyone.

In secondary2, MY LIFE was a little bit not on track. How do i put it? Okay, summary: I got REJECTED by 2 guys i liked, i was hated by many, i was also chased after by many in a good way. I got really close with one guy that i thought was really annoying in so many ways... and SURPRISINGLY, i somewhat liked him. Then we got really close, we HUNG OUT, talked, shared laughter and all that kind of stuff. Soon enough, people started to say that we were in a relationship, so i thought, WHY NOT? One day, as we were casually talking, we both POPPED the question. just like that, so yea. We were TOGETHER for awhile then things started to go wrong. Like what? Simple, i'm a girl that CHANGES boyfriends like changing CLOTHES. so yea. Mostly my fault. And not to my SURPRISE, we broke up. We were kinda happy i guess? Then we fought etc etc, had sad yet happy moments. 

Then, after a few months, we became FRIENDS  again, this time, in secondary3. Yay! And HE changed alot. I mean, he went from childish, idiotic BOY to lovely, charming and understanding MAN. Thats an awesome change... WHO wouldn't LOVE that?? So, we started hanging out again, i developed WIERD feelings for him. like, really pretty feelings FOR him. So attracted yet devastated... this was the guy i BROKE UP with last year... WOW. i was amazed... BEAUTIFULLY amazed. He kinda IMPROVED in looks, attitude and lots of things i can't even describe. I started these feeling when he asked me for my chemistry ten year series. When he GRABBED that book away from my hand, i felt a shock. An intersting one. 

So one day, we decided to go out and watch movies with some of our friends. YEAP!! thats the day i was gonna make MY move. We went to watch 'The dark knight rises'. You know, that batman movie. In the movies, i was smacked in the centre. 2 guys on my right and 2 more on my left. I was in between the two guys i liked most. Not in a FRIENDLY way, in a 'be mine' kinda way. During the MOVIE, he gave me french fries... FED me french fries at least. Damn, my HEART skipped a beat. That feeling you get when someone surprises you with food.  So, after the movie, we went for DINNER. Again, beautiful way of eating. Its like, everything he does is so... Aspiring.

So, there were supposedly 5 of us but one left so now there were 4. We took the bus home and on the bus, i kept looking at him, and he's FLAWLESS. in a way. So when he reached his stopped, i took out my phone, asked him if he would be in a relationship WITH me. Of course, with the HELP of my 2 male best friends. After a wait, he replied me saying we could TRY it out. PRACTICALLY, a YES. i was happy, real happy. AND, i'm not going to let him GO!!. 













Girl: Ehy hi, can stead?
Boy: With me? Why so sudden?
Girl: Dunno, i just got this glowing feeling...
Boy: Okay, we can try to be together:)
Girl: Yay!
But, in the girl's mind, a HUNDRED questions start to appear. Is it going to WORK out? Is her HEART going to break again? Why did he just AGREE like that? Hmmmm.....

Okay honestly, the girl is just THINKING too much. She asked the guy if they could be together and he said yes. I mean, that's just AWESOME!! So girl, RELAX!! Enjoy the moment....

Okay tell ya'll what, that girl is me HAHA!! ok so byes!! Lame post ever...

Monday 16 July 2012

Okay, i know its been a while since i posted something but i've not really been in the MOOD to write anything. Today, however is different.

Through being  SAD and lonely, I found COMFORT. In myself. Its like, every time i'm down, i'm crying or when i just feel LOST, i'm comforted by the thought that i'm all ALONE. Its a scary thought but yet, its soothing. Recently, i have been a little bit lost and i ADMIT that my heart has sunken DEEPER than normal but it was during this phase that i found the TRUTH about me. I'm not a HAPPY girl. Not even close. Parts of my LIFE have been a wreck and yes, it does suck. I look on the BRIGHT side, thinking that after a rain there will be a rainbow but it doesn't help. Does it make me FEEL better? No.

What i'm implying is that its OKAY to be sad. Be whatever YOU feel like, Let it out. Who CARES what will happen next. You have to think about that poor HEART of yours. On some days, it wants to let every single thing out and on other days, it JUST wants peace and serenity. We are human beings, we have emotions. We cannot TREAT ourselves like robots. That is not how LIFE works. Life is about having feelings, having EXPERIENCES, gaining opportunities,TAKING chances. We cannot achieve all of this if we don't handle OURSELVES properly.

So remember that we can feel done. No one is stopping us. That's all i have for now.

Thursday 5 July 2012

So it's been RAINING these few days, and i have come to REALIZE something.

A few days ago, a FUNERAL was ongoing opposite my block at the void deck. It is still ongoing. I'm guessing that the DECEASED was probably LOVED by many. On the FIRST day, i saw many people coming to pay respect to him. On the SECOND day, as many people came, some FACES i saw the day before and some newcomers. TODAY is the third day. Again, lots of people turned up! So i decided to pay the funeral a little VISIT. When i was there, i finally UNDERSTOOD why that many people attended his funeral. He was an AWESOME father, a FILIAL son, a TRUSTED husband and a GREAT role model for his younger siblings. He died of KIDNEY FAILURE. Rest In Peace.

His favorite songs were playing, friends and relatives sharing good moments with him, recalling experiences, laughing at all the funny moments. 
TEARS SHED, LAUGHTER HEARD, LOVE WAS IN THE AIR... ...

My point is that DON'T take things for GRANTED. You'll never know when you will LOSE them, and when you do, you'll be lost and HURT and REGRETTING. Life is too SHORT for regrets. So go out and have FUN, live life, be young, do whatever you like, spend your time with your loved ones, spend you time wisely. STUDY, get a good education, go find out what your skills are. I mean, come on, no one can be IMMORTAL. I believe that if you spend your life meaningfully, you'll go PEACEFULLY.

Wednesday 4 July 2012

Girl: hi, i know you hate me but... why? i have done all i can for you...
Boy: i know. thank you. but i cant like you. sorry. there's another girl on my mind.
Girl: oh... i see... sorry for the trouble...

I 've been in this kind of sad situation before... believe me, it HURTS. I mean, i did all i can for a guy, and he just blows it just like that! It's painful man... Well, people don't always get what they want so...

You can't expect everyone to like you a 100%. Sometimes, even your closest friend doesn't like you a 100%. No one is perfect. And that is the amazing thing about us people. We're NOT perfect, we CAN'T be perfect, we will NEVER be perfect. Perfection is just a goal that we can never reach. Not even with plastic surgery. But sometimes, we have that 5 second moment where we feel PERFECT, EMPOWERED, CONFIDENT and STRONG. like, nothing can stop us. When we're with the people we like, a crush, a relative or a best friend, we feel AWESOME!! And then there are those moments whereby your friend, or your cousin or even your crush makes a fat joke about you, or any joke in that matter and you feel down, angry, sad. Everything we thought we had, poofed away. Sometimes, we make the jokes, but that's for entertainment, sometimes, we laugh it off with others and sometimes, its so severe that we take it so seriously. We start thinking if it really was just a joke or was it a fact. 

Anyways, What i'm trying to get at here is that, when somebody does something nice or goes out of their way for you, please APPRECIATE it. Like when a girl who can't fold straw hearts learns how to fold one and does 99 of it for a guy, DAMN! that's one lucky guy. Or when a guy went out of his way just to get the girl's number so he can casually chat with her and she has no clue about it... WOW! what a guy! Or when a girl actually remembers her boyfriend's birthday but what is he doing? out with his friends partying all night, worse part, a girl picked up his phone. Next morning, she saw pictures of him partying with pretty gals all night. He doesn't even apologize, even acts like nothing happened. Another example would be when a guy is madly in LOVE with a girl, and he asks her out on a date, he gets REJECTED. Not once, but MANY times, how do you think that guy FEELS?

I have been through rejections before, i have been both rejected and the one rejecting as well. In some cases, it's really hard to reject the person or reject something. But for me, i feel that if you can reject, you can accept.