When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you LEMONS, make lemonade!! NOPE! not for me... What do i make? i make ice cubes out of it. Why ICE CUBES? simple. So that when i do feel like crap, i just put the ice cube on any previous wounds that are still healing and all my PAIN will transfer to the wound. Either that or i just become SUICIDAL... it works both ways.

I know, i know, it doesn't make any sense for me to be such a depressed kid. I'm still YOUNG, ALIVE and i have many things to achieve in the golden years ahead.... Well, BULLSHIT!! I might be 15 but i've gone just as enough crap as a 30 year old would have. Yea, i'm a spoilt kid, i get whatever i want and i basically have a nice family background. But everybody, has their own SECRETS. i'm sick and TIRED of what people want me to be, what i think i'm SUPPOSE to be. I don't want that. I want to be ME. But no, the question is, WHAT exactly is me?

I WISH THAT THERE WAS SOMEONE WHO COULD JUST SIT BESIDE ME, HOLD MY HAND AND TELL ME THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT... ...

Basically, the only time whereby i feel like MYSELF is when i'm alone, torturing myself.... Want to know the FUNNY part? I can't bear to see me hurt myself but i WANT to do it so badly. I never really did understand WHY i got myself like this. Maybe its because i have to KEEP being this particular person when DEEP DOWN inside i know i can't live up to it. But i still TRY. When i'm alone, I feel really lonely and HURT but yet i have this sense of HAPPINESS and SECURITY. its the ONLY time i get to be me: hurt myself but not really seeing it, just feeling the pain.

Yes, i have friends, family and all that kind of people to help me get through this but sometimes, i just want to be heard and SOMETIMES, i wish that there was someone who could just be my listener. They don't have to solve my problems, just listen.

As you can SEE from the title, this post will be about my Boyfriend!! Eeeeppp!!! He's not EVERYTHING i wan him to be but come on, NOONE is perfect. He's fine. He's a good guy, sometimes he goes abit overboard but he's caring, understanding and he's just AWESOME. For now at least...

He and my other FRIENDS visited me when i was sick, i had FEVER... poor me:(  CHEY! self praise much? haha!! Ok, haha... he got me a FLOWER! a FAKE one. its pink!! YAY! HE also got me a red rose, a real one on Teacher's Day. I saw Danial on Teacher's Day... He looked at me... but didn't say anything... sad. I'm really THANKFUL to those who came to see me when i was sick. Thanks Guys!! Ya'll made me ALOT BETTER!!

Me and my Boyfriend did many things and had many MOMENTS during these 5 weeks. We bought COUPLE rings for our ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY. Black stainless steel rings. We got it from couple lab at tampines one. We have yet to ENGRAVE it. He also bought me a Skirt!! Cool or what? He's different from MOST of the guys i dated. So, he's a KEEPER!! <3